ADHD Life: Restless everything syndrome, build-up of energy, and letting it out!

Note, by using the term “restless leg syndrome” I refer casually to the tendency of myself and other ADHD people to have involuntary minor muscle/limb/body part movements unconsciously. There is an actual nervous system disorder which is separate and distinct from what I talk about here.

Ever notice your leg or foot twitching or have someone point it out (perhaps in annoyance)? It’s something that happens to me and has since I was a child. I can stop it once I notice but as I stop paying attention it often starts up again fresh. This is one of those occasional tics that can be very characteristic of ADHD people, and sometimes it can get you in trouble with the girl you’re snuggling quietly with on the couch watching a movie. Sometimes I “vibrate” with energy that I can’t explain and often internally or consciously I would describe myself as calm despite appearances. It’s a cue that I’m in a hyperactive state.  If this vibration is localized, it can be kind of just a minor restless body part. It happens randomly but more frequently when I am focused on something (a textbook, a movie, a specific task) and not physically moving for a length of time. If your kid studies best laying on the floor with his/her legs flapping in the air behind them idly, let them as long as it works.

“Restless leg syndrome” has been part of the diagnostic process for ADHD since before people really even called it ADD/ADHD. What did they call it before? Some of the same things they still do, such as “your crazy goddamn kid” or “annoying little…” and occasionally complementary terms like “high energy”.

It doesn’t have to be a foot though, it can be a hand or an arm. Sometimes after a while of being completely still I might have an entire arm or leg spasm. The severity may be as mild as a small twitch/flex to as harsh as several inches of “jump” while the rest of me remains still.

I’ve learned to sort of channel, sometimes if I need a physical outlet for some energy (or excitement, or anxiety) I may direct it through a limb that won’t cause a disturbance or be obvious to those around me. If people will see my fingers dancing on the table or my arm jiggling maybe my feet can just shift around a little instead. If you have a kid with Autism or Asperger’s who will compulsively do some physical action to calm him/herself, or to express stress then you might consider that a more extreme and less controllable but similar trait.

So I got into the candy last night……

I’m seeing someone, and she left her candy in one of my shopping bags after we went to a movie. Then reminded me of it… I avoid candy for the most part because it can have a particularly “energizing” effect on me. Especially the really bright colourful kinds.

Reducing refined sugars is one of the most logical steps to take in mitigating ADHD. But cmon, we gotta live a little right? What’s a little high fructose corn syrup between friends… our little secret.

So I started watching versions of this video on YouTube… all of them in fact. Trust me, it gets in your head and when half cooked on gummies it starts to be pretty cool. Yes I can do the dance and the cat thinks I’m nuts.

 

 

She was quite adamant that I not eat her candy, somehow that turned into a kind of challenge. I had a few wine gums and before you know it plans were hatching in my mind… The rest of the evening is sort of a blur.

The reign of the evil dino-sours had to end sometime. Eventually their slaves, the gummy worms had to rise up and make them extinct.  Here we see a ritual, with virgin sacrifice, the heads of their vanquished foes on pikes nearby where warriors dance, and worshiping the grape bear god! I was in kind of a sugary zone, and did a whole storyline on Facebook for the photos. I have such a sugar hangover today.  Ever wake up on the living room floor surrounded by candy corpses and a cellphone with pictures? Ok, maybe not that bad I did manage to make it to bed once I started crashing.

 

Afterwards, they had a cannibal cookout.

 

 

If you’re going to steal someone’s candy, make it awesome. They can’t be mad if it’s awesome. That’s like a rule or something.

Now to ruin a few childhoods…

That 300 gram gummy bear has 24 grams of protein. Did everybody out there know that gummies (and marshmallows) are made from hooves, bones, and skins of animals like pigs, cows and horses? It’s the gelatin. Yes, that includes Jell-O.

 

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Dramatic changes to Union training at IBEW 424 may short change thousands of members. Will they listen?

I hope they listen. If they fix this, it would show that we still have the ability to do good for our own people. Sometimes, pushing the publish button doesn’t feel good it just has to be done.

I’ve been waiting & looking for something positive to write about from inside my Union. Unfortunately things like this come up more often. Have you ever just had to shake your head and wonder if people in charge just think up ways to screw with stuff that works for the sake of hurting the people they are supposed to represent? It can’t possibly be accidental, a child could see the holes in this thinking. There is usually more to it than that, but that’s what runs through my head at times like this…

I had one of those moments with regards to some changes in how our training facility operates. I tried to sign up for a couple of courses one morning this week. We have this amazing building, with good instructors, and really valuable courses. Union members can take courses like first aid, or advanced skills like Variable Frequency Drives and Programmable Logic Controllers, high voltage splicing, hoisting and rigging, even solar (photovoltaic) system installation. There are courses for supervision and leadership too. They have just changed some of the rules which govern eligibility to take these courses and it both angered and concerned me. Particularly since it seems my union leadership (Business Manager Kevin Levy who I have had reason to question in the past over being caught covering up financial issues and making it very difficult to participate in my own union) seems to have interfered in the supposedly independent process by inserting his own rules and influencing the board of trustees directly. That is the impression I get from the trustees, the training centre staff, and past Union executives familiar with the process.

The training centre is run by a board of trustees. Two from the Union and two from the employers, which work together to come up with rules and manage the operations of the training centre. In order to take a course for free a member must have worked for 3 months and then served a 1 month wait period. After that, even if you stop working you are allowed to take courses free until August of the following year. That is pretty fair. If there is no work in the Union and you can’t take a job (like now, the situation is brutal) you might lose your benefits. If those benefits expire you could still take a course by paying a fee of $70. That allows a worker to renew a certification, take an upgrade, get trained on something they require to get a job, or just better themselves while not working so we can provide better trained workers to our contractors. It is part of the Union advantage and is a great selling feature for Union labour. No one in the non union sector has this kind of training available in house.

They just changed that rule, to remove the possibility of paying for a course.

What this means is that if you are out of work (as thousands of us now are) or you have taken time off to raise a child, start a business, recover from injury, or heal your family after working up north for a few years which can take a toll on a marriage… you can NOT have any opportunity to take any courses even if you are a fully paid up dues paying member of the union. You MUST get a Union job, and hold it for 3 to 4 months to even be eligible again. Times like this make that almost impossible especially if you are unable to work in Fort Macmurray. The trust fund is healthy, we can afford to train our people. Why are we looking for ways to cut more people out? Sounds like an American insurance company not a Union training centre.

To take responsibility for my opinion, I’ve written a letter to the trustees which can be seen by clicking this link to my Google docs file. I think I put it into language that is appropriate for that venue. The trustees I spoke with seemed open to hearing my concerns.

This rule change hurts workers, and creates a barrier to education. Unions have always stood and fought for their workers to be trained, safe, and have good access to education.  It’s a principle of fairness and equality that is universal in the labour movement and my Union I feel is shamefully taking that away from us. I needed to take some courses a while ago but could not afford the $70 fee, so had to wait. Now that I’ve worked a little and can afford the fee I tried to sign up and found out that the new rule effectively tells me that I (and thousands like me) despite paying into this system for years now are considered worthless in the eyes of our training centre bosses. That’s how it feels to be told there is no way I can take a course even if I’m willing to pay.

First, our Union leaders do very little to get us work then they punish us for not being able to work Union. How does that make sense? What they’ve done in effect is lose an opportunity to connect with out of work members, and no longer offer them a point of contact with the Union. We can not offer our long time unemployed chances to improve their skills and better themselves, and we can no longer engage them with opportunities to become involved. There’s a lack of vision here that comes from a lack of LISTENING. We have brilliant minds and interested members willing to help, but not in an atmosphere of repression. I don’t want to be just exposing things, I want to be fixing them.

The excuse is that it is troublesome to deal with the accounting, income and refunds and such. I don’t think that is legitimate, they are providing a service to our membership and should be prepared to deal with such issues. It is not that complicated.

Sorry this post is longer than usual, education is a wordy subject.

They changed another rule. Union dues are a cost of doing business with a Union and are tax deductible. Dues go to important things and I don’t mind them generally. However, the new rule is that if I book a course three months in advance because the classes are full, I must immediately pay ALL my dues for those future months in advance! That is over $300 just to be able to book a “free” course that I might be required to take. That is if I can qualify at all. What about our apprentices who make less money and get less work than journeymen, or family types with limited income and time…. that is a financial barrier to education that no Union should ever tolerate. The argument that it will limit “no shows” is baloney. A simple cancellation policy with penalty more than deters such lazy students and frankly this is the construction industry, we have to be prepared to be flexible because our work comes and goes. When it comes, we have to take it. If the training centre kept accurate records and wait lists, and didn’t pre-book so far in advance it wouldn’t be a problem. Rather than punish everyone in advance for a few irresponsible people, why not start developing responsibility into our members and work towards making each other more respectful of our Union benefits? It’s harder, but it is a lot more rewarding. This particularly harsh rule was the result of the personal wishes of the Union boss, our business manager Kevin Levy. Kevin runs the Union (some might say into the ground if we don’t start to get smart right away) but he is not a trustee for the training centre. He should not be dictating rules to the board or making suggestions of this nature. We all know that no changes get made at the union training centre without the knowledge and consent of the Union business manager, because the two organizations must work together. Historically there has always been communication, but we should be progressively minded not oppressive. There appears to have been no real study or consultation outside of these few top level administrators as to how to better address potential problems.

Education is the key to life, whatever kind of education you get… We have to constantly be helping each other and developing our Union membership into something more than it is otherwise we lose ground even faster to outside contractors who compensate for lower skilled workers by cutting wages and costs. If we fail to be well trained and highly skilled, we will only end up being the mindless cable pullers and tray installers that we sometimes joke about.

I could offer some suggested improvements. I believe Union members must ALWAYS have access to their training centre. If our benefits have expired we should share in a reasonable cost for our training and face some penalty for not showing up when we commit to training. That was working just fine, but if they want to stop accepting payments the TIME FRAME must be lengthened from 1 year to 2 years so that during times like these we have ample opportunity to develop ourselves. Sometimes a course is only offered 2 or 3 times a year and we have to wait, other times we are busy trying to survive and might not be able to get into a course right away. Our Union is in trouble for work and it is very easy to go a year without a job, especially if you cannot or will not go to Fort McMurray. We must diversify and not be just a labour pool for a few large corporations in the oil patch. We should respect and encourage different lifestyles and work life balances within our ranks.

It feels good to punish people, to hurt them and make yourself powerful. To think about Union members who are forced to feed their families by working in the non union sector as criminals or traitors and members who fail to show up for courses as lazy and irresponsible. Making a rule that punishes them feels good, even if it hurts everyone and assumes we are all guilty when really it is a narrow few who are less than reputable. Retribution instead of rehabilitation is why the Americans spend more on prisons than on universities. It’s short sighted and never works out the way you wish it would.

We must not fall into the trap of negative thinking, of assuming the worst at all times and forming policy based on that. We should build the good, develop opportunity, and treat all Union members with respect. If controls need to be put in place let them be reasonable and not hurt everyone who walks through the door. Let us be equitable and fair, and not force our Union brothers and sisters into awkward and embarrassing positions because of family or financial distress.

I thought we were progressive thinkers, working towards a more just and fair society, instead it looks like we are cutting costs on the backs of our least fortunate members. I was told once that we are judged based on how we treat our least fortunate…

It’s not like there are serious money problems, the training centre trust fund is fat with millions of dollars and they do have income both from members and employers. We need to be responsible, but austerity measures are never the way to encourage growth, look around us at the world falling apart anywhere we find right wing cost cutting at the expense of working people.

While we have no work we should be running courses 7 days a week and developing new ones. Making some courses mandatory isn’t a bad idea for Journeymen even if we have to pay our people to go like many other Unions do. We should be breaking into new markets and training our people in new fields. We should be offering modern courses on leadership and counselling and communications as well as technical courses on design and install of complicated electrical systems. We should be ready with a fully trained workforce, and offer education to those we are in most danger of losing… the ones who need it most. Down time is when you build up! Do it now because when there is tons of work no one has time for training even if they need it.

The worst part of all this, some of us have been brainwashed or beaten down so much, and so exposed to the poisonous right wing “everything by the individual” thinking that they make excuses for these kind of policy changes. It’s as if many people believe they don’t deserve the fruits of over a hundred years of labour struggle… that we should lose our benefits and be no better than beaten slaves. Consequently they don’t fight, even make excuses as though they aren’t affected by these changes… and as a result we watch our hard earned benefits bleed away. We even help it along sometimes… Negative incremental change must be resisted every bit as hard as radical change.

Indeed, for good men (and women) to do nothing is not the greatest evil… it is for good men (and women) to actively support the evil which confronts them in the belief that it is for their own good. Not only falsely believing they are free, but participating in their own oppression.

We should be responsible, but above all we should be fair, and just. If we don’t set the example, who will?

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Ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? Playing with my kitty at night in the dark = playing for keeps!

I just had to share this… writing it up gives me something to do while applying the polysporin. Here is my little beastie.. Mz. Meowz the F2 Savannah cat.

Here she is recently helping us install bathroom tile. Very important that we remember to clean the sponge! She put it back in the bucket every time we used it.

 

 

Ever played with your cat at night with all the lights out in the house? It’s freaky. They take on a whole new level of ninja. It’s great exercise for them and can be really exciting (and more than a little unnerving) for the human participant. The toilet in the background is there in theliving room for a reason, trust me it comes in handy in a few moments so read on! This is Ms.Meowz posing, I think she’s daring me to do something. Love that she perks a brow at me.

 

 

 

 

 

One second she’s there.. then she’s gone. A moment later she’s tearing through the living room right between your ankles and leaping over furniture up the walls to her high shelf. This is about 7 feet in the air.

So I hide in the kitchen, til she comes looking and pounce at her. She tears off into the bathtub and lays flat. I go hide behind the corner of a wall in the living room and she full on CHARGES MY FRIGGIN POSITION then tears away into a cardboard box. Not being foolish enough to put my arm in there, I hide at the end of the box and softly tip it over.

 

 

 

 

I’ve been tearing around after her and then she turns the tables and comes after ME. Trust me, when it happens you run. I hide when she’s not looking and am trapped in my corner wrapped in an eerie silence. She’s been thundering around the house like a full grown tiger (when in reality she is a 20ish pound F2 Savannah) so I figure I have her movements pegged via audio. I know she was out in the hallway at some point, so after a couple minutes I peek out around the corner BAM there she is standing right there at the corner in full attack mode close enough to lick my nose. I’ve never felt so hunted, and a little ashamed at the realization that I’m only top of the food chain so long as her dish gets refilled every morning. I dive back around the corner and when I peek again moments later she’s midair somewhere across the room heading for higher ground.

There’s this badass move she pulls, where she puffs herself up and turns sideways like a Halloween cat then runs at you crab-walk style. It’s too cute to miss. I got a picture of it when she was younger. In the near pitch black, with only a little background glow from streetlights and a nightlight it’s downright terrifying. Love it!

I have this nagging feeling like I am thoroughly outmatched here. She’s pouring on speed and crazy airborne trajectories like you rarely get to see in the light and it seems like she’s even MORE sure-footed than usual. Know those crazy sounding super fast ground attacks cats do all around themselves when excited? When your cat has almost a 3 foot arm span and it’s dark they’re pretty impressive.

So I’m hiding behind the toilet for a minute, (that would be the one I keep in the living room, while I tile the bathroom) waiting for her to go ripping past so I can vault it and surprise her when all of a sudden there’s this flash of fur and growling going past my head at a million miles an hour in the darkness… I TOSS MY CELLPHONE as a distracting light grenade and in the dim light of the screen can make out golden fur and tiger stripes assaulting my smartphone IN THE AIR then settling down to inspect it before disappearing as if via a puff of smoke (where? I know not…for the dim glow hath stolen my night vision momentarily!).  I hear the bathmat in the hallway skittering around as she loses traction and viciously makes it pay for it’s frictionlessness and allow myself half a breath while she rolls around wrapped up in the hallway rug biting and kicking it like prey.

I think I’m so clever, it’s quiet now so she’s surely off somewhere waiting for me to chase her. Out I come from my new hiding spot behind the loveseat carefully. TOO SOON!!! Before I can even figure out where she might have been laying in wait wiggling her bum in anticipation of the kill she’s floating (yeah, its like she doesn’t even touch the ground and its freaky) across the living room to land on my cellphone JUST as my hand is about to grab it. So now she’s rolling around with my arm as her meaty chew toy and I’m just wondering if the neighbours will find it strange that I haven’t called in a few days and get curious enough to come see what became of me. Clean underwear? Check. As I start to recover from the initial shock and figure I can beat her at wrestling there’s a puff of air by my side and she’s gone. Figured me out I guess! It’s like they know your next move.

I see a twitching mass of shadow on the dining table, and having not even noticed her vault the 12 feet across the room to get there I switch on the lights.

Instantly, my shadow ninja becomes a lovable little furball, innocent as can be. There’s a strange disappointed look on her face as if I’ve robbed her of some precious moment but a scratch behind the ears elicits a throaty purr and happy smile… letting me know I’ve been let off the hook this time. As the lights turn on, it takes her just long enough to settle into her relaxed innocence pose that I can tell I was in for some kind of special attack there and made it just in time.

Remember this moment? Clever girl….

She’s still in the living room playing with her toys as I lick my wounds and try to find photos of her that are sufficiently clear for posting. She’s so active I need a high speed camera sometimes.

More crazy pics and video can be seen in this article I posted a while ago. She’s grown since and is a really marvellous creature. She was wild (near feral) when I rescued her, and is a pretty special breed (being an exotic hybrid of felis domesticus and the African Serval.

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Using Union or Non-Union businesses, Shouldn’t there be more to deciding where to spend my money?

I have a logic beef with, well… with a whole segment of the Union/Labour/Leftie movement of which I am a proud (if dysfunctional) member. So I want to make my case here…

My beef is with ideology (which exists on all sides of our system), and how certain things are expected (demanded) within these groups with social and professional consequences for being “out of line” with the accepted thinking. We discriminate against people who quite possibly have a better idea of how to operate. It’s “clique” building, and it happens everywhere. Fight it!

Am I expected to restrict as much of my business as possible to Union companies simply because they have Unionized employees?

The short answer is yes, and this extends right up to many large political and labour organizations which have official policies to direct their business to Union companies even at extra expense and reduced quality of service unless there is NO Union option available. Does that make sense? Does it make more sense for an organization than an individual? It should be a part of the decision for sure, but the sole deciding factor? That strikes me as isolationist. There’s a good argument to be made for not punishing Union employees for the behaviour of their parent company and I encourage you to make that argument to me in the comments, but I think reinforcing a cycle of abuse and rewarding bad corporate behaviour does them just as much a disservice in the long run. Bottom line, the company wants to keep operating and turn a profit. Threaten that, and you have them by the balls. Play the long game. Explore the WHY not just the WHO.

I feel that it’s my duty as a free thinking person with a more highly developed (and broad) sense of ethics and social justice than average to pay attention to more than just whether the staff is covered by a bargained agreement. Non Union companies have learned a lot from Unions over the years and are now putting that knowledge to use against us, while Union companies have often faltered and regressed. Who knew that paying and treating staff well, providing high quality service and product, and succeeding in customer service would be tools to keep Unions out of a workplace? They are. They should be hallmarks OF a Union workplace, but they’re not and that is not the fault of the Union. Fixing it just might be our responsibility however. I’m not perfect, I have a long way to go to have a “harm free” and socially equitable lifestyle… but I have to be realistic and reasonable within my means.

So I ask you, what motivates a company to change more… Continued large scale support on the basis of Union affiliation or a complete lack of patronage and withdrawal of business? Why would they do any better if they can always count on our unequivocal support?

I have been looked down on for generally refusing to patronize Safeway & Superstore. Now and then I pop in for milk and to talk to staff/managers casually. Have you talked to staff at Safeway recently? I have, carefully and for years. The management is abusive, the front line workers are mistreated, harassed, and are often downright miserable. The quality of food and products at Superstore is pathetic and often unsafe (i.e. meat). The prices at Safeway are insane and their employees face some of the most anti-worker management in the country. Why would I support that when my neighbour across the street runs a Sobeys where prices are fair, products are higher quality, and the staff are well treated and happy to work there. They do more in the community every year than Safeway hands down around here. I also shop at Costco sometimes, where the staff are well paid and taken care of in many ways including negotiated salaries and good benefits as well as low prices and happy staff. I try to shop at local businesses in my area first like the family owned plumbing shop recently passed on to the son from his retiring father where I get expert advice and good prices, and the eco friendly products small business across the road from it. Neither are Union so should I buy inferior products from much more evil multinational world destroying corporations instead just to be able to shop at a Union store?

I fly WestJet and I’ve taken flak for it. Over the holidays I had to change my ticket (last minute and on boxing day) and they charged me only $10 for the service. I was able to fly with my firearm at no extra cost, and their customer service people were well versed in policy as well as friendly and helpful above and beyond my expectations. They also answered me promptly on Twitter.  The in flight staff are friendly and professional. Over at Air Canada they wanted to charge me $75 including an extra bag fee just for the privilege of checking my rifle as my only checked bag. The cost of the ticket was far higher, the employees on the flight and customer service reps were miserable and horrendously treated by their nasty big corporate bosses. The service is garbage, and all throughout the airport all I hear about is how terrible the flying consumer is treated by Air Canada. I can see how restrictive and mean spirited many of their policies are towards staff as well as customers. They cut costs and outsource jobs, and are just an overall crappy company. WestJet employees are owners of the company, and nothing develops pride like a stake in something. A Co-Op would be nice, but nothings perfect. Also WestJet has way cuter (and younger) flight attendants <3.

Even more than this “Shop Union” issue, I think in a rapidly changing world those of us who are progressive (even VERY progressive) need to think rationally about our choices. We should not simply spout rhetoric and toe the party line because people smell that kind of thing a mile away and it only hurts us with the public. It isn’t just about Union jobs, it’s about what the company does, how they run, what they produce and where, do they help the community, are they a safe and equitable employer, do they serve me with respect and do they make an effort to represent my values at all? If more Union employers (at least that I’ve come across) met even some of these conditions, it would help me justify the extra time and cost of dealing with them.

If we all exercised a little more critical thinking, and were more able to see the bigger picture around us then maybe we could make some real headway with new segments of the population that currently don’t see us as legitimate or necessary. Maybe we could even force Union employers to start playing fair, because suddenly maybe every Union organization in the country isn’t necessarily going to buy FORD trucks anymore, maybe Safeway isn’t going to be able to count on us for all our events and meetings for food. Maybe we could actually USE our purchasing power to effect change, fighting with dollars instead of losing at the negotiating table all the time. We could encourage and support new businesses run by our own people who uphold these values even if they aren’t Unionized with an eye to them becoming Unionized down the road?

What might be the biggest stick in my craw (fly in my ointment?) is the discrimination in the left leaning political world and in some Union circles when you (even for good reason) don’t dedicate your entire consumer power to Union stores. I hate Wal-Mart and never set foot there for good reasons of my own, but should I not be free to apply the same clear judgement to all retailers and not be blinded by the demands of others? Myself and others do not deserve to suffer scorn, social isolation, professional limitation, or ridicule because we have a newer take on things that reflect specific realities instead of passed along chants. Amazing how many hypocrites have hated on me for not buying only Ford or Chevy or Dodge, but their “Union Made” truck is parked at Walmart at least once a week.

I wish more companies were Unionized, and I wish many Unions could provide a stronger membership with better working conditions for their people. That said, I will not reward a bad company simply because they have Union employees. If the product/service is terrible or the company has a seriously poor record for labour relations or social justice or environmental destruction why would I patronize them? Are those things not part of what Unions support? I know that they are, but I think we’re on the defensive so much we resort to “close ranks” before “think clearly”. It’s important to me that if I take a principled stand, it is not for ideological reasons. Through issue-based decision-making, and values based on merit instead of inherited rhetoric we could become legitimate and strong with whole new groups of people. I’ve organized for TWU, where I directly affected tens of thousands of TELUS workers as well as for IBEW where I’ve been trained and have participated in many levels of Union democracy and growth. I’ve been involved with the Alberta Federation of Labour, the local and national NDP, and various cause or issue specific organizations as a volunteer or coordinator or planner. I’ve learned that making progress here means less banging of the drums and more appealing to people on clear specific issues that come in understandable bite sizes. Less RAH RAH and more reason! Even people who dislike us, at least pretend to be reasonable enough to talk as long as you’re not chanting cheezy slogans at their face. Facts sink in.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s still better being a realistic pragmatist leftie than being one of the poor bastards on the right side of the political spectrum that believes in publicly funded AND delivered healthcare, is pro-choice, and feels that fair taxation includes increases for the rich and corporations. They do exist, (though rare) and they are a fearful bunch of closet centrists entombed in the intolerance of conservative dogma and hatred.

What I worry about, is that we on the left may go the same way, we must be prepared to offer clear logic and rational reasons for our chosen policies and ideals. ANY decision made blindly because you’re expected to by others of your own political class, social group, family unit, religion, or what have you is a poor decision. There is partisanship (which isn’t necessarily bad) and then there’s over polarization. Thanks to Stephen Harper we are highly polarized right now and should focus on reason and reality. Specifics, not rhetoric should carry the day if we could just be true to it.

My decision making process contains but is not limited to the following criteria (in no order of preference):

1) Reputation of company

2) Quality of service & product

3) Treatment & overall satisfaction of staff

4) Systemic attitude of management towards staff

5) Price and availability of product or service

6) Environmental & ethical merits of the company & their products

7) Status of Unions in the industry & availability of a Union alternative

8) Existence of small, independent, family owned business alternative

9) How I (and other customers/clients) are treated by staff

10) Fairness and sensibility of company policies towards staff and customers.

I will stand that matrix of decision making against anyone of any stripes who holds firm to an ideological line instead of looking at the issues case by case.

There is more to this issue, I can’t possibly address it all without writing a book. Hit me with your comments, ideas, thoughts and arguments… If we did more talking about points like this, they wouldn’t raise so many heckles

Be your own dawg.

 

 

 

 

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Occupy Edmonton, before it lost all legitimacy and usefulness was a beautiful thing.

Alright well I’m finally in one place and organized long enough to sort out my collection of video clips and assorted digital clutter from my phone and camera.

Occupy Edmonton was really awesome for about the first 7 or 8 days (they lasted about 40 or so before being evicted). The movement, although more pressing in need south of the border certainly reflects similar circumstances here in Canada and offered a rare chance for unifying, peaceful issue based dialogue with both the authorities AND the general population. It was going that route too, for the first week or so, before basically falling apart after that point having been mired by a lack of vision & leadership, too step a learning curve and not enough really active contributing participants. It made (and could still make) extremely positive contributions to public dialogue though and that first week was really positive, engaging, uplifting and generally awesome. Something I’d like to see emulated in future efforts. Nothing is perfect, we did very well and I don’t get the impression that it’s over just yet.

The unrestrained corporate greed (enabled by purchased government interest) of the last 30 years or so has created such social inequality that we are now seeing the mighty United States crippled with almost 50 million people on food stamps. There are close to 18 million homes vacant due to foreclosure and something like almost 5 million homeless people. Canada is heading the same way, the gap between rich and poor grows even faster here and people finally had enough. The Occupy movement is an expression of frustration and need for change for the people who own the system, from the people who get fed to it.

I made some videos, though I was far too busy with operating the Camp and lived basically net free for that first week to get much online accomplished. Here they are!

While at the Churchill Square rally Oct 15 2010 (the beginning of the Occupy movement in Canada) we had some great talks and entertainers. This is a local choir, and they’re very good. The lady singing “freedom” there Peggy Wright makes the best icebox cookies in history.

Notre Dame des Bananes singing at Occupy Edmonton Rally Oct 15

Here is the march, it went from Winston Churchill square in front of city hall through a financial district and then along Jasper Ave to it’s final destination. I set it up so the authorities wouldn’t know if we were going to City Hall or the Legislature afterwards and we ended up with a secret third location to actually occupy. Use the system to your benefit, if not quite as intended

Between 2,000 and 3,000 people marched… estimates of only 1,000 were media underestimations.

Here is everyone arriving at the park, which was wisely selected on private property not city owned park space. It’s easier to deal with a corporation handcuffed by publicity than a right leaning mayor who publicly states he would resort to police violence immediately. Shame on you mayor Mandel, your green credentials may now be tainted by your authoritarian tendencies. Social justice encompasses environmentalism. MELCOR was actually not as terrible to deal with as many had feared. Good commuication and public pressure helped smooth our relationship somewhat. Loads of positive media attention helped too. At the very least CEO Ralph Young treated us with respect, though he certainly was clear that he wanted us gone.

The camp began as a very family friendly place. Everyone pitched in to keep it clean, arrange leaf piles for the kids as well as toys to share, a reading tent and other useful community building amenities. Even in the evening you could come down without fear of any sort and the park was a safer place with all of us there than when it sat empty and unused.

We had visitors from local native groups come down and they were included in all the proceedings. They sure put on an interesting show…

Some interesting and engaging activism started happening, which raised interesting issues with the public. Here we deliver a giant eviction notice to the office of the environment minister. Does anyone else think it says something about Alberta that he resides in PETROLEUM PLAZA? We got great press, and I wish we had done more issue based actions like this where we communicated in an understandable way. People really liked it, but there was a failure to capitalize on that and continue…momentum was lost.

This was FUN.

 

There are lots of issues to discuss, personalities and politics to tolerate, directions to go in, and heaps of people to deal with but here I just wanted to share some of the more innocent fun and inspiration that Occupy protestors gave to Edmonton.

Whatever your experiences with the movement were, whatever your opinions of public protest and breaking the rules are, and wherever you are in your life chances are you are somewhere in the 99%. 

So what now?

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2011 in review

In the spirit of openness and accountability I thought I would share this! Thank you all, please continue to share me far and wide..

- Mike

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The Louvre Museum has 8.5 million visitors per year. This blog was viewed about 80,000 times in 2011. If it were an exhibit at the Louvre Museum, it would take about 3 days for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

My first experience being in supervision on the job. ADHD comes in handy!

Can ADHD be an asset in a supervisory or leadership role? I think with a little work it sure can be.

I recently got my first official taste of supervision authority as a journeyman electrician. I was made “sub foreman” (also known as lead hand) and put in charge of all the heat trace on a large mod. (A structure made as part of a huge facility for the tarsands… you may have seen them on the highways here..) Some of the photos that have been sent to me over the years will help illustrate things a bit for those who have no idea what these things are.

A “module” looks something like this, though they vary widely in purpose and design.

They get put together into massive facilities that look like this… kind of like giant Meccano mixed with Lego. That is a LOT of cranes!

Heat trace is basically a mineral and metal encased wire that gets really hot. It is installed on the pipe to keep the stuff IN the pipe nice and hot. The heat trace we were installing gets to about 240 degrees Celsius. This is what it looks like, although before passing it this piece would have been hopefully adjusted to look a lot better. It gets extra rows where the supports are because there’s extra heat loss.

 

This is what a module construction yard might look like… on average. Not sure where this one is but they all basically look the same. They get pretty big.

Anyways, I think my ADHD serves as a benefit in some ways. At the very least I made an effective boss, I definitely shine more in a leadership role than in a drone position. On the tools, many of us feel like assembly workers after a while especially in industrial environments. Some might be satisfied with that “shut up, get paid, don’t think” way of being but it makes me insane.

People can be dumb about bullying don’t you think? Lets not miss the point here!

My Facebook recently exploded with people posting this video of a bullied kid speaking out. Many people found it deeply moving and important enough to spread around like…well virally. I really like the attitude of “I’m not going anywhere”. The video communicates despair and strength very well. I think the fact that he’s male makes it even more powerful. Women are still considered the weaker gender and treated as such in many environments, and while we all might publicly universally condemn bullying and abuse it is more striking when a member of the “offender gender” comes forward as a victim. I’ll admit to feeling a little awkward, and really paying attention as a result.  There are no gender lines in bullying. Also I just hate to see a guy cry. It’s healthy and all I am just less comfortable around it. I’m sure it’s backwards thinking but it still just feels more natural to me when women cry. I bawl at movies, (ok other times too on occasion) but hey we all got issues.

Video #1 (Touching)

There seemed to be some question as to whether or not it was genuine as other videos were turned up. This one showing the same guy all happy, chewing gum like an obnoxious asshole, talking about how people love him and he is happy now really caused a lot of people to get angry and lash out at him online. I just think he comes across like a douche and clearly gave the wrong impression. Does that impact what his other video addresses? Should it?

Video #2 (Douchey)

I saw a lot of people angry about it and falling into a very unhealthy way of thinking about bullied kids in general and this kid in particular.

I’d just like to put forward that it doesn’t matter. Bullying is important, I wasn’t just bullied through school I was stalked, tortured, beaten, threatened, socially isolated to the extreme, victimized by some teachers/administrators as well as my peers and faced conditions far worse than almost any bullying situation I’ve ever come across since involving males OR females. I’m not sure why it’s so much worse today (if indeed it is), except that people in general are weaker in some ways nowadays (just as my generation was compared to my parents), and technology makes bullying so much more invasive and hurtful. There are many issues to explore, some of which people are afraid to (or unwilling to) raise. Being different has never been socially acceptable, and most of the “masses” don’t like recognizing that there is value in everyone being individual. People are cruel by nature, and I was FAR worse of an ADHD case in school. I was an obvious target, small, brilliant, mouthy, unwilling to back down, fearless beyond my means, insecure in the extreme, and always having such troubles socially that it was like bullybait in my pockets every time I left the house no matter how I acted. I almost don’t blame them, but I sort of do. Like I understand, but still hated them for it and would never put someone else through that now OR then. There is no “asking for it”, no matter how difficult to understand someone else might be to you and your “clique”. We create our own monsters, and much of my behaviour was a direct result of the bullying I had to suffer every day. Lots of kids would be more likeable and well adjusted if they weren’t torn to pieces for years.

If this kid was bullied to the point where he made the first video, I’m proud of him for speaking out about it even though I think cutting is stupid and would like to smack him for doing it. The torture is real enough. If he faked it, then he deserves an award and a few auditions for public service commercials at least because he did VERY well. He raised the concept of (in)tolerance in schools, and made a lot of people think about bullying. Not that we aren’t already, but it’s important to make it REAL sometimes. Putting things on the internet feels safer than speaking in front of a classroom of people, and it reaches far more. The internet empowers us all.

ADHDepression What do you do when it’s all upside down?

I feel bad that I haven’t kept up my unofficial 2 post per week schedule despite some pretty awesome subjects coming up in my life. I know there’s a problem when I am watching TV, seeking solace and connection from characters designed to illicit a response from the viewer.

 

I can’t explain it but I’m feeling a little all over the place and am unable to track down why. I’ve met some great new people lately, I’ve been struggling financially and just started a new job, had a visit from my father (his first, despite me living in Edmonton for 12 years… but we gotta start somewhere!), christmas will be in Victoria with family this year (which is awesome but also a mixed bag), I’ve had a few problems and a lot of stress. Over the last few months I’ve been a little more isolated than usual lately, a little withdrawn from my usual friends and have been a little more socially unacceptable lately with certain groups I usually enjoy interacting with. I am having delays getting my taxes filed with Canada Revenue taking advantage of the disability tax credit and that money is badly needed.I have had my limit of stupid people (and smart people being stupid which is even worse) lately too. I’ve been getting angry about things lately that I usually would only have been mildly irritated or even motivated by and I can barely catch a moment to get my head together. I think there’s a lot going on and I have too many little projects on the go around here that I really ought to wrap up so they will stop weighing on me.

I’ve also had a few good things happen. I’ve made progress on my bathroom and came to some decisions about how to configure my house (more on that later). My neighbours have been wonderful to me in recent tough times and I’m glad that they seem to accept me. My wonderful kitty (Ms. Meowz) is turning into a wonderful companion animal and not at all feral anymore though she is still delightfully crazy.  More people ought to have pure love in their life, it’s worth the sacrifices. Go find yours today! 

 

I am trying to focus and work on a few interesting ideas for blog posts that have been begging me to deal with them… I’ve been a bit negligent of my commitment to myself and everyone out there in blog reader land and I really enjoy sharing things with the universe like this so I intend to follow this up with more really soon, I’m just trying to find some encouragement.

 

My mother has explained to me that through my life, I’ve never been a happy middle ground kind of guy. I have epic successes and colossal failures (“lessons” she says) but rarely a mediocre moment. What I describe as “happy” others describe as “elation”… alternatively what I feel as a little down others tend to equate to something like a severe funk. I’ve learned through research and therapy that this is a partial crossover with how ADHD can share traits with bi-polar disorder at least as far as explaining our tendency to flow between extremes. I don’t know how common it is with other very ADHD folks but, it tends with me that I am out of touch with how other people perceive emotions. Not terribly so but perhaps shifted slightly. I’m told this can be more or less prevalent depending on the person.

Do you remember that scene in The Matrix where they talk about what chicken tastes like? Different context but… I identify with the kid talking and the concept as it relates here.

What if you grew up thinking you knew exactly what happy, sad, angry, etc feel like… but not exactly on the same scale as many others. Emotions are very subjective, or at least our descriptions of them are. Makes me think about a lot of interesting ideas. When was the last time you stopped and tried to understand what it feels like to someone ELSE to be sad? You don’t, do you? It’s natural to relate it to what we know, and most of the time our experiences are close enough that it works out. Maybe not all the time though, I find that interesting right now. It was quite a shock to have specific instances pointed out to me, and to have people around me describe my nature and have it be different than what I was feeling. The insides are true, but the communication to the outsides don’t always jive with normal human interaction.

At any rate, I’m doing my best and hope to be kicking ass again shortly. Maybe these things are cyclic and I have a period of awesome to look forward to…

There are examples out there I deeply wish I more effectively embodied and feel terribly that I have failed to do so thus far. Some might get it…

Optimism is better than despair.  I just wish I could quell the anger and disappointment, and re-connect with my usual optimism and fearless stubborn determination to take action rather than dwell.

I’m working on the positive, I think it just takes time to build up. Negativity builds, surely it’s reasonable to need the good to sink in for a while before catching up and finding balance?

 

 

More please! Hug bank getting low!

Got a suggestion for me? Would love to hear your advice, comments etc. What’s the solution here… wait it out? Do something? Have a cheezeburger? Three fingers of scotch?

 

Cheers

 

 

 

 

 

 

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